So, what is this Dwarf Fortress business?

 

A picture of Boatmurdered, a dwarf fortress gone over the edge.

A Day in the Life of a Dwarf

 

By Urist McBlogger

It’s not easy being a dwarf you know. Constantly getting ordered around “dig this, dig that”, “build a floodgate here, release the lava there”. Those nobles, they think it’s easy. They just have to map out an area, by pressing d, then selecting a few tiles. We have to dig it. Have any of them picked up a pickaxe like a real dwarf and dug their way through the rock? No. And the way they treat us… it’s like we’re expendable. Just because we don’t know which side of a floodgate is which!

Now, I know some of these nobles like to claim that managing a dwarf fortress is the hardest task they could ever have been given. But they have an illustrated guide, guiding them the whole way through running a fort. I mean, as long as you remember not to dig too far down through the adamantium, to brew enough drinks for us working dwarves by building your stills, and giving a few dwarves jobs as brewers by pressing q and telling them to brew a drink, life is fine.

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The Greatest Game You Never Played

I love that quote

If you’ve never heard of Sacrifice, the title should be a bit of a dead give away.  If, by some miracle, you did hear about it, or even play it once or twice, it’s probably only a vague memory.  To those few of us who played and loved this game, it holds a special place in our hearts.  If you are one of those lucky few, you may skip this article and go with the sound knowledge that you did right.  On the other hand, if you never heard of Sacrifice, or did, but never played it, I have a short exercise for you.  I want you to raise your right hand (or left for those of you lacking a right hand) and in a strong slapping motion, I want you to slap yourself in the face.  If, for medical reasons, you are incapable of slapping yourself, find a near friend and have them slap you.

How does that feel? Does it sting? Well it should, because you missed out on God’s gift to gaming.

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